some of you might know that i’m currently in yoga teacher training. i’ve started reading about, studying and practicing the yamas and niyamas, the first 2 limbs of the 8-fold path from the yoga sutra. basically, they are the ethical principles, or guidelines, for yoga life.

the first yama is ahimsa or non-violence. in the book i’m reading, it gives you practice prompts at the end of each yama and niyama. this week i’ve decided to publicly share the beginning of my journey through my ahimsa practice for 2 reasons:

• 1-i learn and absorb better if i write my thoughts down
• 2-i hate the idea of talking about my feelings, and this is exactly what i’ve chosen for the first week’s practice!

this week, i will practice courage by doing something everyday that i normally wouldn’t do. i’m pushing myself even further to do something that actually scares me, sharing my feelings!

my goal: write a journal entry about how i’m feeling each day for the next 7 days AND post it

so here it goes for today!

i’ve been feeling very discouraged these last few days. i wasn’t really sure why i was feeling like this, but i realized that it is because things aren’t going exactly as i had planned just a few weeks ago.

i got back to the states 3 weeks and 2 days ago. i was excited to come back and put all of my energy into yoga and work. i wanted to get out there and network and meet new people. i wanted to share my skills with others and see what happened!

well… we all know what happened. covid-19.

and for the last week, i think i’ve just been waiting. waiting for things to get back to ‘normal.’ waiting for someone to reach out. waiting for something to magically happen. waiting… waiting… waiting…

do i need a new plan? should i go and get another job? should i shift my focus to something else? what should i do?

i decided today, i don’t need a new plan. i can’t be discouraged or down on myself because my original path didn’t work. my plan is solid. it can work, it just needs a new path. because life is different. my path took a turn. it isn’t better. it isn’t worse. it’s just a new path now. and i need to adapt and adjust to this new path. i need to try new things and share my skills and see what happens!

yesterday i pulled a tarot card and 2 literally came flying out at me. and they showed me exactly that. i’m holding onto what i thought would be. i need to let that go because opportunities are out there. i need to change my perspective and allow the infinite possibilities to flow in!

the yamas and niyamas book explains there are 2 fears, an instinctual fear and a fear of the unknown. it’s good for us, as humans, to have instinctual fear (if there’s a bear charging at us, we should run or curl up into a ball!). but we need to fully, deeply and honestly explore our fear of the unknown to find our courage.

to practice finding my courage, i’m going to really dive deep each day into how i’m feeling and why i might be feeling that way. and then i’m going to share it with the world, even though i really hate doing that and often think we live in a very over-sharing, it’s-all-about-me culture.

i don’t expect people to respond, i don’t want or need people to tell me i’m doing a good job, i’m just exploring my own fears to find my courage.

today i’m going to harness all of this energy and fear and uncertainty. i’m no longer discouraged about how things are going, i’m excited to see what is going to happen next! i’m excited to be searching within to find my courage. i’m excited to see what i’ll learn about myself. i’m gonna get out there (digitally) and allow the possibilities to flow in!

join me for the SUMMER OF YOGA 2.0!