ahimsa practice: week 1, day 5
well i’ve done a shockingly terrible job at ahimsa practice today. but it is still early, so can improve on the rest of the day! plus, it’s a positive sign that i was able to immediately figure out why i was feeling so crappy: i didn’t listen to my body.
usually i listen to my body pretty well and make adjustments and changes based on how i’m physically feeling. but today, i did not do this well. i forced myself to go to yoga and it was painful. not physically painful, emotionally painful, which made me not put 100% effort into the physical aspect.
last night i wasn’t feeling yoga. but decided to see how i was feeling in the morning. this morning i wasn’t feeling yoga. but decided i should just ‘force’ myself to do it. ya know when you try and talk yourself outta something but know that it’s probably good for you and you should just do it? yeah, that is what was going through my head.
so i just went for it, and i shouldn’t have.
ahimsa is about nonviolence, starting with yourself. and this morning i wasn’t nonviolent with myself. the first 30 minutes of the yoga class i kept thinking:
- ‘when is this going to be over?’
- ‘ughghg, i’m doing awful at this.’
- ‘ffs, CAN THIS BE OVER?’
yeah. not a great internal monologue. but then i realized, i was just angry at myself because i didn’t listen to my own body when it was telling me to take a break. after that, i slowed down and listened to my body. things started to settle down. and in the future, i will remember to listen to my body!